I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
