He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
