so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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