We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize