Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
wanna go halves on a baby?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
