the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
