I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
