i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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