So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
