Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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