How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
