You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
