Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
