Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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