No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
