I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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