dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
