he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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