I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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