Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The air was thick with penises
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
