And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
