I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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