The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
