Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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