So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
