Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
