I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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