Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just invented taco cereal.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
