Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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