yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize