cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
