I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
