The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
NoShamevember. You game?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
