Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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