Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize