It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The air taste purple.
Randomize
