There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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