There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
