Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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