That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
