I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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