Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
