that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
