Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
