FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
