this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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