i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
