Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
