i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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