well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
