took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
