To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
