you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
