Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize