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• (817): View more from Texas

  is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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• (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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• (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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• (561): View more from Florida

  She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

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• (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (409): View more from Texas

  i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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• (626): View more from California

  It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible

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