just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.