drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
