Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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  (773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu
  Replies (13) Good night (3821) Bad night (656)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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  (512): someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP http://tfl.nu/kebb
  Replies (19) Good night (5270) Bad night (2633)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (6076) Bad night (1139)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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  (623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz
  Replies (24) Good night (4353) Bad night (2138)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

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  (850): it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday http://tfl.nu/fl8q
  Replies (2) Good night (3128) Bad night (801)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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  (216): there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed? http://tfl.nu/x18l
  Replies (2) Good night (1696) Bad night (1539)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

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  (832): Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday? http://tfl.nu/ynw6
  Replies (16) Good night (4538) Bad night (1422)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (2694)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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  (972): honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa http://tfl.nu/ld2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1469) Bad night (1020)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

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  (502): Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not? http://tfl.nu/b1wq
  Replies (48) Good night (5102) Bad night (1216)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future

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  (561): Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future http://tfl.nu/peo6
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (446)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.

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  (978): My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/9yxu
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (546)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

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  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (9) Good night (970) Bad night (660)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.

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  (860): The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/fj2u
  Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (282)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.

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  (330): exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun. http://tfl.nu/7m4g
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (227)

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