Well douche your snatch and let's go!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets