Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

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  (814): If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already. http://tfl.nu/owi8
  Replies (15) Good night (1090) Bad night (2191)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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  (313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5
  Replies (16) Good night (844) Bad night (2747)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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  (250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9
  Replies (25) Good night (11777) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

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  (214): would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry http://tfl.nu/l5su
  Replies (40) Good night (5614) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle

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  (416): that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle http://tfl.nu/ax2q
  Replies (11) Good night (1310) Bad night (4745)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden

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  (617): Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden http://tfl.nu/88jg
  Replies (7) Good night (3814) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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  (903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg
  Replies (6) Good night (2956) Bad night (937)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.

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  (484): dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/xj2d
  Replies (5) Good night (2775) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

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  (303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q
  Replies (8) Good night (2694) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.

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  (302): Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit. http://tfl.nu/yb12
  Replies (27) Good night (4422) Bad night (1066)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains

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  (919): the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains http://tfl.nu/cfm9
  Replies (5) Good night (313) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.

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  (870): There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked. http://tfl.nu/ccaq
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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  (252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.

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  (940): I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect. http://tfl.nu/o532
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"

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  (410): he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco" http://tfl.nu/ntm8
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (190)

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