just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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