well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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