I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
