dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
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So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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